To my daughter and son,
There’s so much I could say to you. I could talk to you about how much your mother and I love
you, how proud we are of who you are and are becoming. There are literally a million things we
could say right now but we are in a crucial time in our culture.
You are going to hear a lot of voices yelling and screaming right now. But I want you to hear our
voice. I want you to tune out all the hysterics and listen to us. I need you to really hear what I’m
going to say to you.
First I want to talk to you daughter.
Honey, there is so much I wish I could protect you from. I wish that I could just stay with you all
day and keep you from harm. I wish that I could keep all the feelings of dread you may
experience just walking down the street away from you.
But I can’t. And it makes me feel helpless.
So I need you to know that no matter what happens in life your mother and I will always be
here. And right now, if we haven’t told you before, please know that we will believe you.
There will never be a time we won’t believe you. With everything that’s happening around you,
with all the voices screaming “Why didn’t she…” you need to know that we will not only believe
you, we will fight for you. We will always be your advocate.
Your mother and I want you to understand that you don’t have to stay silent or stay in a
situation that you’re not comfortable with. It doesn’t matter if nothing is actually happening. If
you’re uncomfortable then you can leave!
Any time. Any place. You can go. You can call us day or night and we will get you without
Trust your instincts. If a situation feels weird then go. If something just feels off, leave. If you
ever find yourself in a place where you have nowhere to go then call and we’ll help you leave.
And God forbid if anything should ever happen to you we will always, always…ALWAYS believe
you. There will never be a time where your parents hear your voice and turn their backs.
You are loved and valued because you are our daughter but not just because you’re our
daughter. You are loved and valued because God designed you that way. You are fearfully and
wonderfully made. God created you. You are a daughter of the King. And that title carries
weight. You deserve to be honored as a human being and we will fight tooth and nail to make
sure that happens.
So much of the world is going to tell you if you want something just take it. It wants to you
dominate; to be a man. If a manly man sees something he goes after it. There’s no crying or
emotion. There’s no anything. Suck it up and be a man.
I need you, the world needs you, to be like Jesus.
Look how he lived his life. He loved people. He treated them with dignity. Especially women. In
a time and culture that did not value women at all he honored them. He included them. He
relied on them.
The first person he told about being the Christ was a woman. Women funded his ministry. It
was two women that first proclaimed the gospel. Women started churches, preached the good
news, disciples others, served in key roles in the early church (see Dorcas & Junia). My point is
that Jesus didn’t see women as inferior and treat them as such. He saw them as equal partners
and they flourished.
Be like Jesus son. Treat women and people with respect. Honor them with how you live. Show
other man what it means to be a godly man.
We want both of you to use your voice to speak for those that can’t. “Speak out on behalf of the
voiceless, and for the rights of all who are vulnerable. Speak out in order to judge with
righteousness and to defend the needy and the poor.” Proverbs 31:8-10
My sincerest prayer is that you grow up seeing how men and women should treat each other
by the way that your mom and I live. When we mess up we’ll apologize and strive to do better.
When we fail we’ll be there to forgive. When you need us we’ll be there or we will die trying.
Love, your Dad.